He-Man in Sour Mood Today, He-Man Sighters Say

18 07 2007

Today was a dark day for He-Man. So dark, his mood forced the sun to cower behind the clouds and continuously ask if He-Man was still mad. While he remained peaceful and non-threatening to the humans whom he was sent here to protect, he did have quite a bone to pick with this trash can pictured.
He-Man angered by trash can
As you can see, he is giving the trash can the “Evil He-Stare”, a powerful gaze possessed by no one but the He-Men. This gaze gives He-Man the power to actually inflict pain in inanimate objects with nothing more then a stare. The garbage can was shaking in discomfort, and finally exploded into fire. He-Man threw his body on top of the explosion before it could harm anybody, causing no damage to his mighty abdomen but infact, causing even more damage to the exploding trash can itself.
Why was He-Man full of so much aggression? This reporter does not know for sure, but he assumes it has something to do with the anti-He-Man propaganda currently being spread throughout the city. Those who do not understand He-Man fear him. They hide their children and girlfriends, fearing he will destroy them with his ferocious mallet-like arms. Politicians like Mayor Mike Bloomberg have gone on record against this peaceful non-human, saying we cannot give him too much power or he will use it to tear us to shreds.
A common human error: fearing what cannot be comprehended. I’ve got news for you, Bloomberg, if He-Man wanted to destroy us all, he’d of done it far before today. He-Man should be President of the United States, nay, the world. He-Man should be World President.




4 responses

20 07 2007
Guy Flavin

omg i almost threw my diet coke can out in that garbage then i had a dream that my toothbrush had teeth then slept through my alarm!!!!!!!!!

20 07 2007

heman is a fag fag, aint nothin but a slezzy bare chested alien gay. i hate him! i hope he die. stupid fuckin hething. he can eat my he-asshole.

20 07 2007
Barb Sanberg

to: Gloryhole126

First, I suggest you get yourself an alternate username. That is totally inappropriate.

Second: A fag is either a) a bundle of sticks or 2) a cigarette. He-man, who I have decided is now Jonathan, is clearly not either of these choices.

Gloryh*le126, be kind. What would your mother think?

1 08 2007

I saw him in Madison Square Park that day! I dubbed him Fabio, but you’re right, he’s totally He-Man! This is the most hysterical website ever!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: