SPECIAL REPORT: He-Man Gives Back to the Community

27 07 2007

Today, George Washington was not the only historical warrior in Union Square Park. That’s right, He-Man gave him a run for his money.


George Washington. An American Hero, yet shameful next to He-Man.

He-Man was spotted today in very rare form: fully clothed. It seems that he was in an easygoing mood. He was seen today at Union Square Park actually speaking one on one with members of the community about drug and HIV awareness. As seen here, he mediated a small circle in which regular civilians shared their stories with He-Man.


He-Man hitting the streets.

He sat and listened intently, not once breaking his concentration to bellow a loud He-Howl at attractive ladies passing by.


Clearly tempted to bellow at this woman, he remains focused.

Word is that this is one of many recent PR stunts He-Man has been doing to better his reputation with the city. After swallowing one of Mayor Bloomberg’s children and spitting them up, he has been on restless terms with the city government (In He-Man’s defense, he did not know the girl was the daughter of Mr. Bloomberg, which is why he regurgitated her almost immediately upon finding this out). FindHeMan.com has come to believe that his newly hired Public Relations agent, Brady Abner, is urging him to have meetings like this with the public, so that they may fear He-Man no longer.


He-Man’s PR Agent, Brady Abner (3rd in From Left) during his vacation to the Virgin Islands.

When will you get it? He-Man is not a public speaker. He has no opinions on teen pregnancy and the death penalty. These are all small fish to He-Man, who frowns at our tiny problems, but wishes not to belittle them. He-Man is here to protect us, and he knows that he needs to stay, even if that means listening to horror stories from old WW2 vets. Persevere, He-Man. It is for our own good.




2 responses

27 07 2007
Grace Balluff

no… way…

31 07 2007
He-Man: The Most Powerful Man Around Union Square at

[…] when he’s got his shirt on, He-Man is a caring being, talking to people in Union Square Park. While the He-Man website may be tongue-in-cheek, the man is real. Whether or […]

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