He-Man Fights Back: EXCLUSIVE VIDEO COVERAGE!!!

16 08 2007

In perhaps one of the boldest moves since the Kyoto Protocol, He-man launched a campaign to literally fight global warming. Rather than regulating carbon emissions and lobbying for sustainable architecture, He-man’s strategy relies on brute force and physical intimidation of the offending party, the earth.

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He-Man, showing Earth what He’s made of.

He-man was spotted all over town grappling Mother Nature. A typical bob-and-weave opponent, the earth initially evaded He-man’s signature Facepummel. But barer torsos prevailed and He-man had the earth in a chokehold by noon, followed by a couple reproachful “piledrivers” and an admonitory “Stone Cold Stunner”.

Successfully wrangled, the earth consented to ‘hold off’ on another ice age.

In this video, we see He-man retreating after clotheslining the earth on Broadway and 20th st. Recognizing his victory, He-man leaves to contemplate his own immortality.

Incidentally, the force of He-Man’s upper body thrust caused an underwater eruption on the opposite side of the earth, birthing an island in the Indian Ocean henceforth to be known as He-Land. Well done, He-Man.

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7 responses

16 08 2007
pat

this is a serious issue and you are joking about it i think

17 08 2007
joxbuke

I saw a Dead concert in ’77 at the He-land pavillion. It was so epic that the taper rigs exploded. No recording has ever surfaced.

17 08 2007
james gannon

WWWHHHHHAAATTTT.

17 08 2007
hettybrah420

I remember the Dark Star well. The opening notes alone killed a man. Thank you, He-Man.

10 09 2007
quirk

I’m concerned about the upcoming season change. I hope the cold weather doesn’t force him South.

30 12 2008
Man-At-Arms

You can tell in the video that the man is injured. Looks like lower back problems as a result of an accident. The people laughing should be ashamed.

22 06 2009
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