Sightings of the Week 8/22 – 8/29

29 08 2007

Those who were too slow to catch a snapshot.

AUGUST 22 – DANIEL spotted He-Man marching near Macy’s. Apparently He is trying to push his new cologne, “Head Splitting Rapture That Will Destroy All Who Inhale it For Men”.

AUGUST 23 – LORI saw He-Man on 20th and 3rd at 2:30 walking with two women. Word is He was heading to a college frat party and needed at least two girls to get in. On entering the party, He threw two kegs out the window, landing on a group of crack dealers outside. He then turned to the college kids and said “Keep drinking your beer. Then you become crack dealers and kegs will get thrown on you and kill you. Think about it.” The fraternity is now a Christian house of worship.

AUGUST 23 – JENNIFER spotted He-Man at Astor Place walking by The Gap. The owner of The Gap saw Him as well, getting inspired. Now all the Gap sells are camo pants and black chokers.

AUGUST 24 – TREY viewed Him entering Union Square at 14th st. The statue of Abraham Lincoln, it was reported, had beads of sweat rolling down his forehead.

AUGUST 25 – MIRANDA saw He-Man on 34th and 6th today. Mistaking him for the Empire State building, tourists began climbing him and taking pictures from the top of his head.

AUGUST 27 – JEFF spotted He-Man carrying what appeared to be groceries on 26th and 3rd. What was really in those bags? Souls.

AUGUST 28 – JEN saw Him on 5th st and 6th ave at 11:34 PM. Apparently his muscles continue to glisten at night, creating the illusion of daylight to confused, intoxicated New Yorkers.

If YOU have any sightings or stories, send them to FindHeMan@Gmail.com. Don’t forget to keep your cameras with you at all times, as He can strike at any moment!

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